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Older Adults and “Gray Divorce”

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Older couple having an argument on white background

According to a study from Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate for U.S. adults ages 50 and older doubled in the 20 years between 1990 and 2010. When you divorce later in life, unfortunately, you have less time to recover from the economic hit. According to AP,” While the challenges of a so-called ‘gray divorce’ are similar to those of a divorce at any age, factors like limited working years ahead, complicated assets, adult children may magnify the difficulties.”

Retirement: Your gray divorce will have an impact on whether you will have enough money for a secure retirement. Older adults, particularly women who have spent many years out of the workforce, are unlikely to recoup the financial losses associated with divorce, said Georgia financial planner Terri Munro (AP). Alimony is less common than it used to be. Fortunately, if you have been married for more than 10 years, you’re entitled to half of your ex-spouse’s Social Security benefits.

Other routes to financial survival could be to delay retirement if you are working, returning to the workforce if you are not, downsizing your living quarters, and making major lifestyle adjustments. You may no longer be able to pay for your grown kids’ graduate school or weddings. You may decide to keep your house in your divorce agreement, and rent out rooms. You may decide to make ends meet by joining the “gig economy” and, for example, driving for Uber.

Your Home: Who will get the house? Although you may be emotionally attached to your home and its memories, keeping it may not be the best financial solution for you. Selling a home could provide a chunk of income for the years ahead, and living in a smaller home or apartment can reduce your costs significantly.

Women tend to want to get the divorce over with fast, and may not take the time to understand the financial implications. If this describes you, be sure to ask your divorce attorney for help in figuring out the best way to approach your divorce. Divorce financial analyst Aviva Pinto advises women ending a higher net-worth marriage to consider hiring a forensic accountant to ensure all assets are discovered. Pinto told U.S. News, an expert might discover “you’re entitled to a lot more than what he’s put down on paper. Then you’re in a better bargaining position.”

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.

Media Sees Divorce as Entertainment & Humor

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Couple fight with a woman screaming

The new HBO show “Divorce,” starring Sarah Jessica Parker, is a half-hour comedy. Dramas about divorce have a long history in film and television: think “Kramer vs. Kramer,” “Scenes From A Marriage”, and “An Unmarried Woman.” Audiences have a huge appetite for drama, and divorce stories provide plenty of it. As novelist Leo Tolstoy remarked, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” As any family law attorney will tell you, every divorce is different.

But a comedy? “What’s so funny about divorce?” asks the Los Angeles Times. “Marital strife, and infidelity in particular, are practically required of TV dramas aspiring to the “prestige” label,” comments the reviewer. “But making a half-hour comedy charting a breakup over potentially many seasons represents a number of unique creative challenges—not the least of which is how to find the humor in subjects as grim as alimony and custody disputes.”

To which one might answer, have you never heard a single joke about divorce? Poking fun at marriage, marital strife, infidelity and break-ups is a time-honored source of humor in American culture. The divorce jokes may be disconcerting, even bitter, but they elicit willing or unwilling   laughter. Google “divorce humor” and you will see countless websites devoted to divorce jokes.

Some divorce mediators maintain that natural, unforced humor or funny stories are keys to relieving stressful emotions and reminding divorcing spouses of their shared humanity, easing the negotiation process. Humor is a powerful tool for managing conflict and reducing tension when emotions are running high. It facilitates communication, and creates a sense of connection that can help people, even divorcing spouses, get past conflicts and take a different view of matters.

A TV comedy about divorce could even help viewers in their own, real situations. “There was a time when we talked about normal lives, and we found all sorts of virtue in those stories,” Parker, who is also an executive producer on “Divorce,” told the L.A. Times. “I was really curious about exploring marriage and everything that meant, … looking for something that was neither fish nor fowl, that sat in a world between comedy and drama. … It was incumbent upon us to find the humor.”

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.

The Advantages of Uncontested Divorces

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Woman signing a paper

There are two kinds of divorce: contested and uncontested, and the kind of divorce you go through will make a big difference in the length, complexity, and cost of the process. In a contested divorce, the parties cannot agree about getting divorced or about the terms of the divorce, such as child custody, division of assets, or alimony. 
In an uncontested divorce, the spouses agree on everything and do not need a court to make such important decisions for them. Clearly, the uncontested divorce will be simpler, faster, and less expensive, and it is the way the majority of people in the U.S. get divorced.

You and your soon to be ex-spouse may have a lot of emotions and disagreements about the issues in your divorce, but cooler heads often prevail when both of you consider the costs involved in fighting. “Uncontested” does not mean that both must agree on all the divorce terms, but rather, that both are willing to negotiate and even sacrifice some of their wishes for the good of the entire family. You may need to negotiate for a while, and even go to mediation or hire attorneys to help you reach agreement. In the end, the financial argument for the uncontested process is quite compelling.

Lower costs and a shorter time are the primary advantage of an uncontested divorce, but it has other positive results as well. Among the many advantages of an uncontested divorce is that it takes place in private. Although your legal agreement will be part of the public record, but your disclosures, proposals and negotiations will remain private (divorceinfo.com). Along with your privacy, you will keep your dignity by avoiding a combative stance and public disclosure of your grievances.

An uncontested divorce is less stressful for your children, especially when you can resolve custody decisions together or through mediation. Divorce is confusing and sad enough for your children without having to witness your anger and conflicts.

You may sue for divorce thinking that the proceeding will be uncontested, but discover later that your spouse has decided to contest, or fight, the case. If this happens, you need to consult an attorney; your risks will be much greater if you proceed on your own.

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.

A Trend for Reform in Child Custody Laws

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Father and son on a city background

It’s been about 40 years since the majority of mothers stayed home. Married fathers in the 21st century spend twice as much time caring for their children as they did in 1975. Today’s trend is to give both parents as much time as possible with their children post-divorce. Divorce law is continually evolving, often in accordance with changing social trends. In the past year or so, 20 states have been considering changes to custody laws to give fathers greater rights to their children following a divorce.

A new, 10-year NIH study found the children who spend more time with their fathers grow up to be healthier mentally and physically, with less depression, anxiety, delinquency or substance abuse problems.

In New York and Washington state, judges are now required to grant equal parenting time unless there is proof that such an arrangement is not in the child’s best interest. Utah’s new law increases the amount of weekly time the non-custodial parent spends with the child, and almost doubles the number of overnights from 80 to 145. Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Massachusetts and Missouri are considering requiring judges to presume that it’s best for children to split their time as evenly as possible between their two parents.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the “National Parents Organization Shared Parenting Report Card revealed that, nationwide, the custody laws in the U.S. do a poor job or promoting shared parenting. These developments coincide with the publication of a study in Sweden that shows the benefits of shared parenting. Last month, researchers found that children that spend time living with both separated parents are less stressed than those that live with just one.

Not all legal observers, however, agree with the growing trend, according to the Pew Trusts. Laws that encourage shared parenting may sound “seductive” to state lawmakers, but they often force families into bad situations, said Maritza Karmely, a professor at Suffolk University Law School in Boston. Bar associations, judges and lawyers have come out against some of the proposals. “A presumption is a pretty radical step,” Karmely said. “That assumes that shared parenting works for most families, and I think that is an enormous assumption.”

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.

Outdated Adultery Crime Laws Still Exist in 60% of States

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Romantic couple kissing

New Hampshire decriminalized adultery in 2016, after 200 years of NH law that made it a crime. NH opponents of adultery prohibition argued, “Who we love and how we love is not something . . . the state has much business meddling in.” However, adultery remains relevant to divorce in the state as a ground for fault. A fault divorce is granted in New Hampshire only when one party is innocent; if both spouses had affairs, they cannot use adultery as a fault ground, and may need to get a no-fault divorce.

New Hampshire has caught up with the 21st century, but what about the rest of the U.S.? According to the Los Angeles Times, adultery is still illegal in 21 states, including New York, where former Governor David Patterson admitted to extramarital relationships in 2008, but said he “didn’t break the law.” Well, Governor, in New York, the state you ran, adultery is still a misdemeanor, punishable by a $500 fine or 90 days in jail. Fortunately for the guv, the law is rarely, if ever, enforced.

Today’s tolerant attitudes strongly suggest that it’s time to take the adultery criminal laws off the books. Only a third of Americans believe that adultery should be a crime. Why do any states retain the outdated laws? The L.A. Times quoted legal scholar Thurmond Arnold’s observation, ““Most unenforced criminal laws survive in order to satisfy moral objections to our established modes of conduct. They are unenforced because we want to continue our conduct, and unrepealed because we want to preserve our morals.”

Prosecutions for adultery are rare, but they do occur, and could arise in any of the 21 states that still have criminal prohibitions on adultery. Most contemporary adultery prosecutions have involved complaints by an aggrieved spouse. A recent article in favor of reform in salon.com argued, “enforcement of criminal prohibitions has been infrequent, intrusive, idiosyncratic, and ineffectual, and should be unconstitutional.” Courts should not allow adultery to influence employment cases as a basis for demotion or firing, nor influence alimony and custody awards. The writers noted, “None of these reforms should be seen as diminishing societal respect for marriage as an institution.”

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.

Women, Divorce and Insurance

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Worn out woman accounting

Women who are going through financially complex divorces are often in states of emotional distress and confusion about what the future may hold. If you are getting divorced from your spouse, you need to be sure to consult your attorney and the financial advisers who are working on your behalf. Your insurance policies are probably not uppermost in your mind. Your advisors will remind you, however, that insurance coverage for yourself and your children, if you have any, should not be overlooked in the final divorce agreement. It can be financially significant.

  • You can stay on your ex-husband’s health insurance using COBRA coverage, but COBRA lasts only 36 months. It’s a good idea to buy your own health insurance before it runs out.
  • If your ex is the higher earner and paying alimony and child support, these payments will end with his death. You would be wise to buy a life insurance policy on him in order to secure this important income. According to an adviser writing in Forbes, “If your husband refuses to cooperate in getting the required medical exam or if he is uninsurable due to health or other reasons, you need to know this before the divorce is finalized, so you can find an alternate way of securing your divorce settlement payments.”
  • Your ex’s social security is a form of insurance, and you can receive half of the payments if you are older than 62 and were married for more than 10 years. If your ex predeceases you, you are eligible for the entire benefit, as well as any of his children under the age of 18.
  • It’s a good idea for you to purchase disability insurance in case you become unable to work (or your ex, if you are relying on him for support). “If you are relying on employment income for yourself, or your ex-spouse for maintenance and/or child support, a disability policy can be essential should an employment income source no longer be available due to disability,” advises the Association of Divorce Financial Planners.
  • After one spouse moves out of the joint residence, that person is no longer covered for liability by her former homeowner’s or renter’s insurance. Be sure you are the “Named Insured,” and if you are not, you need to ensure that you are covered. When you purchase your own policy, you can reduce the cost by buying “replacement cost coverage” or increasing the amount of your deductible.
  • When you divorce, your vehicle is no longer covered by your ex’s car insurance. Be sure you have your own coverage. Women who have relied on their exes for taking care of their vehicle may want to be sure to purchase insurance for towing and roadside assistance.

The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible.  From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law